Hannah helped make yesterday one of those days where I just wanted to cry. She was continuing to do all of the above, all day long. About mid-morning, after failing to get her to lie down for her nap, I decided I was going to the store regardless. I had to pick up a few things if we wanted to have dinner. I thought, "Maybe she'll fall asleep in the car on the way there." False hope. "Maybe she'll fall asleep while being pushed in the shopping cart." Who was I kidding? I ended up carrying her around and pushing the stroller at the same time, off and on the entire trip. Occasionally she'd let me carry her in the sling - more often she had a fit even attached to my hip (literally, ha). She was so tired and therefore miserable. I was letting her attitude make me completely miserable (and then tired!). Half of the shoppers at the store were probably miserable having to listen to her whine/cry/scream on occasion.
Though I found myself praying the entire time, I was fighting to know what to pray for. "God give me patience?" Yeah...but anything else? I kept pondering this teaching moment as I struggled to keep from crying myself. Then a Scripture came to mind:
"...[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful." - 1 Cor 13:5 (ESV)
Neither Hannah nor I were loving one another well! The difference is that Hannah is not old enough to comprehend or understand this biblical principle. I am. I was insisting on my own way (by going shopping when she was having issues). I was being irritable (like nothing else)and I was definitely resentful (that she was not acting "normal"). When she failed to take longer than a twenty minute nap after all that drama, I was even more resentful.God continues to mold me and remind me of my shortcomings. It is only by His grace that I can grow each day and learn from each of these moments. Praise God for patience and a new day!