Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Love Does Not...

If you are a mother, you'll more than likely be able to relate to this blog very well. Things around here have been a wee bit busy and stressful for the last few days. From what I've read, babies understand when their parents (especially their mothers) are stressed and react accordingly. For whatever reason, Hannah's been very needy for the last 3 or 4 days. It's the same thing she went through during the holidays. She wants no one but me and she wants me right then or else: blood curdling screams. And she is not even happy with me in the room if I am not holding her. Needless to say, my patience is thinning.

Hannah helped make yesterday one of those days where I just wanted to cry. She was continuing to do all of the above, all day long. About mid-morning, after failing to get her to lie down for her nap, I decided I was going to the store regardless. I had to pick up a few things if we wanted to have dinner. I thought, "Maybe she'll fall asleep in the car on the way there." False hope. "Maybe she'll fall asleep while being pushed in the shopping cart." Who was I kidding? I ended up carrying her around and pushing the stroller at the same time, off and on the entire trip. Occasionally she'd let me carry her in the sling - more often she had a fit even attached to my hip (literally, ha). She was so tired and therefore miserable. I was letting her attitude make me completely miserable (and then tired!). Half of the shoppers at the store were probably miserable having to listen to her whine/cry/scream on occasion.

Though I found myself praying the entire time, I was fighting to know what to pray for. "God give me patience?" Yeah...but anything else? I kept pondering this teaching moment as I struggled to keep from crying myself. Then a Scripture came to mind:

"...[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful." - 1 Cor 13:5 (ESV)

Neither Hannah nor I were loving one another well! The difference is that Hannah is not old enough to comprehend or understand this biblical principle. I am. I was insisting on my own way (by going shopping when she was having issues). I was being irritable (like nothing else)and I was definitely resentful (that she was not acting "normal"). When she failed to take longer than a twenty minute nap after all that drama, I was even more resentful.

God continues to mold me and remind me of my shortcomings. It is only by His grace that I can grow each day and learn from each of these moments. Praise God for patience and a new day!

In Christ,

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