Saturday, June 23, 2007

Hannah Mai - A poem

Oh the dreams we have for you,
The things we hope to see you do.
What will your personality be?
We’ll just have to wait and see.

We pray you’ll live by your name:
Hannah and “grace” mean the same.
That you’ll be joyful, loving and kind,
Patient, teachable, wise in mind.

May you be forgiving, humble, faithful to the Lord,
A good listener, friendly, a student of the Word.
Be adventurous, a risk-taker, a leader in Christ,
Tender, submissive, hard to entice.

Hospitable, hardworking, creator of peace,
Burden-bearing so that strivings may cease.
Creative in spirit, beautiful in His sight,
We pray these things in you take flight.

Ideas and qualities by Mommy and Daddy.
Written by Mommy. 6.23.2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Scattered Thunderstorms

While we were still at the hospital after Hannah's delivery, my mom blessed us by working on our landscaping and planting lots of flowers. The only catch: they needed to be watered pretty much every day to make sure they took hold. No problem I told myself, it'll rain half the time and I'll water them the other half. Needless to say, rain has been scarce here in Kentucky. Watering the flowers has to be done manually at least 6 days of the week. For anyone that lives near us or has visited our house this year, you know that our lawn is one of the least healthy in the neighborhood. It's not that we don't care. It's just that we'd rather take our time and money and spend it elsewhere. But it can be embarrassing when your weeds outnumber your flowers.

Today, I decided that I was actually going to take the time to water the lawn as well (and not just the flowers). For about an hour and a half, I was using the sprinkler to soak our parched grass. About every 15-20 minutes, I'd go out, move the hose to a new place and come back in to tend to the baby. At one point, I noticed it was sprinkling (from the clouds, not the sprinkler). I thought about turning off the hose but it didn't look like the rain would last long so I kept it going. About 30 minutes later, after I'd watered pretty much the entire lawn, I glanced out of the window and it was pouring! And it wasn't short lived, it's lasted pretty much the entire afternoon.

This is the second time I've watered the flowers/grass on a day that it ended up raining. You'd think I'd start checking the weather forecast by now. Sure enough, after the fact, I looked it up and there were supposed to be "scattered thunderstorms" in Louisville today.

So why am I writing a blog about this? I've noticed a similarity that occurs in my life that mimics my landscaping ordeal. What is the problem with me watering my yard? Nothing in and of itself. The problem (if you could call it that) occurs only when it rains on the same day. I've spent my time, energy, and money (water bill!) on something that didn't need to be done at that point. My spiritual life often imitates this scenario. Like my grass, I'll let my spiritual life get dry and brown. I'll neglect to spend time in the Bible, prayer with the Lord, and even loving those around me as I should. Then I'll here a good sermon or get convicted about a situation and I'll pour my time into these things I've been neglecting. By this point, the flowers of my heart are already drying up and showing little life. Though God is good at revitalizing them when He so desires.

Why is it that I wait until I'm dry and barren to seek the Lord? It's interesting how that works. The "scattered thunderstorms" of my heart are even more inconsistent than those of nature. I need to be watering my heart with the Word each and every day, drawing nearer to God as He's called me to. I need to remember that a true Christian should long to grow in her relationship with Christ.

May I continue to grow in my steadfastness as I pursue the Lord. Please pray that I do just that. Blessings to you all and I hope this encourages anyone that might be feeling the same way.

Until next time...

Friday, June 8, 2007

Early Mommy-hood

I’ve been peed on, pooped on, and spit up on. I’ve changed many diapers only to have them filled up the moment I finish snapping her onesie back together. I’ve battled getting her back to sleep after her middle of the night feedings, trying not to keep daddy up since he has to be awake at 5 a.m. for work. I cried when they told me she’d have to stay an extra day in the hospital because of her jaundice. I cringed each time they pricked her little feet for a blood sample. I’ve laughed loudly at her funny faces, gestures, and sounds. I’ve enjoyed cuddling with her and James. I’ve read to her and sang to her. All this, and to think, she’s only 12 days old.

Early “mommy-hood,” that’s what I’m calling it. I feel like I’ve learned so much in less than two weeks but have so very much more to learn over the next couple of decades of childrearing. Most of my days seem to fly by and I get to the end of the day, wondering if I actually accomplished anything at all. Other days seem to creep as I debate what I should do while she sleeps. Should I clean? Catch up on emails? Finish the closet project I began before I was induced? So many decisions…

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed some of the effects her appearance has had on our marriage. In a positive way, it has brought James and I closer together. Going through labor and delivery with him brought about a new level of intimacy we hadn’t known. Cuddling with and sharing some parenting responsibilities has drawn us closer. At the same time, lack of sleep has caused me to be more easily irritated. I know personally I haven’t handled even small issues as well as before. Our time together is limited as he provides for our family by working two jobs. But we’re determined to care for our marriage and have weekly date nights planned. We know we should always put God first, then our marriage, then our children and we will strive to do our best in this calling.

In spite of the hardships, the last two weeks have really been a joy. We have a new life in our house. What an amazing miracle to know that I carried this little one around in my body for 9 months and now I can care for her in all new ways. God is so good to us! I already feel like she’s getting bigger, even when people comment on how small she is. I can’t believe I’m truly a mommy.

Until next time…