Monday, July 30, 2007

Growth in Christ

So often in life it's easy to cruise through each day as if we have a million more to live. Even when we see death all around us, it can be tempting to think that we will somehow escape it. With each day comes a new trial and with each trial comes a lesson in steadfastness and growth in the Lord. Today I stopped to evaluate my growth. And this blog is one result.

I often pray for others to grow in their Christian walks, maybe even subconsciously thinking that I'm ahead of them on the path. I was convicted during Sunday School yesterday of my lack of love for the Word of God. I tend to pick up my Bible (almost every day) and read two chapters and then offer up a quick prayer to God. It's no wonder that I'm not growing more. I need to not only read it but listen to it, study it, memorize it and meditate on it knowing that Christ will reveal Himself to me if I do. THAT is what it means to love the Word.

On another note, tonight I told someone that "I had to have the internet at home" because "my world revolved around it." There is something incredibly wrong with that statement. My world should first and foremost revolve around Christ, then my husband, then my child - never the internet. Needless to say, I've resolved to fast from the internet for the next week. It will be incredibly hard for me as I probably check my email 20 times a day (no joke). Please pray that I grow in my nearness to God in the process.

Last night, James read his resignation letter to the church. It was not an easy time and there is much uncertainty about our future in the ministry. However, I wholeheartedly believe God will lead us and grow us during this time.

As you can see, much has been happening to cause me to question my sincerity of love for our God. I pray this week rejuvenates me and draws me nearer to Him. Will you pray with me?

Take care...

P.S. As a side note and a "gift" for those of you that are interested, here are some of the latest pictures of Hannah!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

East to West

I sit awake tonight, wondering why I can’t sleep. It’s past 11 and I have a 7 week old baby – I should be tired, right? Why am I not? As I listened to a new song by Casting Crowns, I think I know why. Here are the lyrics:

       East to West
       By Casting Crowns

       Here I am Lord and I’m drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness
       The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest
       I don’t want to end up where You found me
       And it echoes in my mind
       Keeps me awake tonight
       I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
       And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
       But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
       From You leaving me this way

       Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
       ‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
       Rising up in me again
       In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
       ‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
       From one scarred hand to the other

       I start the day, the war begins
       Endless reminding of my sin
       And time and time again
       Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
       Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
       from You leaving me this way

       I know You’ve washed me white
       Turn my darkness into life
       I need Your peace to get me through
       To get me through this night
       I can’t live by what I feel
       About the truth Your word reveals
       I’m not holding on to You
       But You’re holding on to me
       You’re holding on to me

Tonight some of the sins of my past crept into my mind. I’m not sure what brought the memories to me. Well, actually – I am sure – it was Satan. He always tries to remind us of how unworthy we are by resurfacing the sins of our pasts. Tonight, I let him get to me. My problem is that I’m trying to fight the memories on my own. It won’t work that way. Apart from Christ, I’m exactly the person Satan makes me out to be. However, I “have been crucified with Christ. It is not longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me.” “By grace [I] have been saved by faith, not a result of works so that [I] may not boast.” Jesus Christ has washed me white as snow. This song is so perfect for this night. Each word rings truer then I could have penned. I want to know how far the east is from the west because that’s how much Christ loves me. As the song says, the length is “one scarred hand to another.” Jesus Christ died for each and every one of the sins of my past, present and future. I must rest in Him and Him alone this evening. Praise God for His mercy and grace!

I pray this post encourages others who may be struggling in the same way.

Take care,