I haven't posted much of anything detailed or deep lately. Quite honestly, I've been overwhelmed more often than not and this blog has taken the back burner. Yet by God's grace, I'm growing and learning more and more each day.
For those of you that may be unfamiliar with the term "sanctification" as used in the title of this blog, a simple definition is presented. Basically, after becoming a Christian, sanctification is the process by which the Lord molds you more and more into His likeness through the situations you find yourself every day. A person will typically say they are being sanctified when they are going through a hardship or trial, though sanctification doesn't have to be the result of a negative situation. Does that make sense?
That being said, there has been a LOT of sanctification going on in the Santos home. Hannah recently turned two. She's changing and learning at an amazing rate all of a sudden. Her vocabulary has exploded and she spoke her first "sentence" the day before yesterday: "I scared [of] bugs." And yes...she's petrified of bugs, dogs, birds and cats... I have no idea why. It's fun to see her picking up things so quickly and starting to communicate much more clearly. Yet with the joy, there have been many struggles. She is a true drama queen and has tested me greatly this last week in particular. She is craving the attention that I've had to split between her and Benjamin and will do whatever it takes to get it. As a matter of fact, she will regularly tell me when she's doing something wrong - just so I'll pay attention to her - even though she'll be disciplined! Please don't think I'm ignoring my baby girl. I really don't think I am. But her "first-child syndrome" is stepping in and she's not happy about sharing the lime-light.
There were many days last week that I felt like crying (some of which I did). I've prayed with great passion that the Lord would give me wisdom and patience in leading, loving and disciplining her. I'm seeking out "veteran" mommies for wisdom and instruction. I'm desperately clinging to Christ as I feel like a failure so often. Yet it's all been good for my soul. When I am at the end of my rope with attitude issues...I cling to Christ. When I realize I'm not the perfect mom...I cling to Christ. When I'm exhausted and have no chance for rest... I cling to Christ.
Pray that I continue to grow as a Christian, wife, and mother. Pray that I trust the Lord's goodness in all things. Pray that our daughter will see Christ in me. Pray that I'll lead her in glorifying God in our days. As difficult as sanctification can be, I pray the Lord only continues it if it will draw me nearer to him.
Until next time...
Terra
