Books I'm Enjoying Right Now

Let me (Terra) know if you're curious about my thoughts and I'd be curious to know if you've read/enjoyed any of these as well!

• Mary Pride's Complete Guide to Getting Started in Homeschooling
• The Way They Learn - Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
• The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook - Raymond and Dorothy Moore
• Bringing Out the Best in Your Child - Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
• Things We Wish We'd Known: A Guide to Abundant-Life Homeschooling - Waring

Testing My Relationship With God

For the last 4 or 5 days, my one year old daughter Hannah has been fighting some sort of a cold. She has been incredibly moody and non-compliant. I've been giving her more "slack" because I know she doesn't feel well. She's not eating nearly as much as usual - unless the name of the food consists of "cookie" or "cheerio". She's no dummy. In addition, the cold happened to coincide with her switch from formula to soy milk. She almost always refuses the soy milk and thereby goes thirsty. Oh... and did I mention, I'm pretty sure my toothless child is teething as well. Why am I writing about this on my Titus 2 Blog instead of our family blog? Because it has tested my relationship with the Lord.

For some of you, this may sound a bit confusing. How could Hannah's illness test my relationship with God? In many, many ways, I respond. I'm not delighting in my child, as Scripture instructs. I'm doubting the Lord's goodness. I'm quickly angered and irritated with Hannah's moodiness. I'm wanting peace and a problem-free day over Godward sanctification.

On one hand, I know that "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," Romans 8:1 (ESV). All of my current sin struggles have already been crucified with Christ. Praise the Lord. On the other hand, "I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing," Romans 7:19 (ESV). May God lead me during this time of growth in Christ.

In Him,
Terra

Chapter 4 - You're in Charge

Saturday's Shepherding a Child's Heart

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." - Eph 6:4 (ESV)

Before I even get started with this post, I want to make a general comment on the topic of the chapter. There are many different parenting philosophies in our culture today. Some are biblical, most are not. Without passing any immediate judgment on the topic of this chapter I ask you to do two things: read the entire thing with as little bias as possible and then study what the Bible itself tells you about the topic. Do we have a deal? Great! I'll move on.

Not only did I start this post with a disclaimer, in a sense, the author, Paul Tripp, does the same. Our culture does not like authority - plain and simple. We want to do whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, regardless of whether or not anyone says we shouldn't. But we should desire to have a biblical understanding of authority, not a wordly understanding. Tripp mentions several questions to think about (p.29):

• What is the nature of the parent's authority over a child?
• Are we in charge because we are not sinners and they are?
• Do we have the right to tell our kids to do anything we want them to do?

A Christian parent is called to be in charge. But what kind of "in charge" and why? God has given us the authority to act on His behalf over our children. I love Tripp's comment, "You may not try to shape the lives of your children as pleases you, but as pleases Him." Deuteronomy 6 underscores the view of parental responsibility. Also, quoted in the opening of this blog, Ephesians 6 commands us to provide the training and instruction of the Lord on God's behalf. If we do allow unholy anger to "muddy the process" we are in the wrong.

So what exactly are we expecting of our children? We are expecting obedience. Why? Because God says we must. As Tripp mentions, "there is tremendous freedom here for a parent. When you direct, correct or discipline, you are not acting out of your own will; you are acting on behalf of God." God has given us a duty and we must follow through.

In addition to the simple fact that God has commanded us, it is important to establish that the parent is in charge for other good reasons. When the younger child continues to go against his parent and be his own decision maker on all occasions, by the time he is elementary aged, he is his own boss. By the time he is a teenager, he's out of control. Tripp also dealt specifically with a common argument against this. He says, "Some may argue, 'Children only learn to be decision makers as parents allow them to make decisions. We want children to learn to make sound decisions.' This misses the most important issue. Children will be good decision makers as they observe faithful parents modeling and instructing wise direction and decision making on their behalf."

Tripp does not stop there. He continues to go against the grain of our culture. Parenting is not just a call to "providing care." Not that we should not be doing that. However, we are called by God to train and shepherd our children (towards Him) at all times and not just when it's convenient for us. Here are a few points Tripp suggests:

1. We must have clear objectives for our children. What do you expect of your children specifically?
2. We must have humility in our task. When we wrong our children or express anger towards them, we must ask them for forgiveness. Not only is this God's standard, it's teaching them forgiveness in a very real way. You are not perfect and you will sin against your child - be prepared.
3. We must have no place for anger. "...for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires." - James 1:20 (ESV)
4. We should remember that requiring obedience benefits the child. "Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence." -Prov 15:32 (ESV)

In the end, Tripp summarizes this way:

• Discipline: Corrective, Not Punitive
• Discipline: An Expression of Love (see Prov. 3:12, 13:24, Heb. 12, Rev. 3:19 to name a few)

This chapter was an encouragement and a conviction to me as a parent. When we're lax in our discipline, we're disobeying the Lord. And yet the call is to lead our children in a way that shows love and points them to Christ. Wow. What a calling! Praise God for His grace and patience with us along the way!

In Christ,

Terra

A Time to Mourn...

Please read our family blog to understand why I have not posted this week. It has been a very difficult week emotionally, but one in which God has sustained us.

http://jamesandterra.blogspot.com/2008/03/time-to-mourn.html

In Christ,
Terra Santos

Hannah Has a Secret

And you don't want to miss it!

http://jamesandterra.blogspot.com/2008/03/hannah-has-secret.html

Take care!!!
Terra

She Knows "No"

Yesterday was a bit of a milestone for my little girl, Hannah. I learned, without a shadow of a doubt, that she understands the word "no." Let me explain.

We were at the chiropractor's office and I was trying to keep Hannah entertained while I laid on the massage table. She was sitting on my chest and I had given her the pendant from my necklace (it's way to large to swallow) to play with. With all of it's shimmer and shine, the plan worked and she was entertained. However, the one thing I did not want Hannah to do with my lovely pendant was to put it in her mouth. At one point, as she went to make it her dinner, I looked at her and with a serious tone simply said, "Hannah, uh-uh." She immediately put the pendant down. A fluke, I thought. After about 30 seconds or so, she decided to try again and this time, with the same tone, I responded, "Hannah, no ma'am." Again, she put the pendant down. I was dumbfounded. She actually understood what I was saying! Why was that so exciting to me?

There have been many times that Hannah has been blatantly disobedient about simple things that I've been able to excuse because I think, "she just doesn't understand 'no' yet." But I now know that is not the case. I'm no longer left to wonder. I finally have a starting point in disciplining her. Given, we're a long way away from conversations about asking forgiveness or time-outs and such, but this is a great starting point for me. As Proverbs 13:24 says, "...he who loves [his son] is careful to discipline him."

Hannah and I are learning a great deal about each other each and every day. God is continuing to teach and mold me in the process!

In Christ,
Terra

One Great Sacrifice

Mother Delays Cancer Treatments So Baby Can Live

Expectant mother Lorraine Allard learned the devastating news that she was in the advanced stages of liver cancer when she was four months pregnant, according to the Daily Mail. She chose to delay treatment to save the baby. She died two months after her precious son was born.

I can't imagine being in this situation. What an amazing testimony this mother gave to women around the world. May God be with her family.

I Chose to Sin

For whatever reason, before bed last night, Hannah Mai decided she was not going to take her full bottle. I cringed as this more than likely meant she would wake up earlier than usual because she was hungry. I told myself, I'll just let her cry herself back to sleep. That always works in theory but then after hearing her cry for a while, it breaks your heart AND you just want to go back to sleep. I was blessed this morning when James volunteered to feed her since he was already up getting ready for work. So where am I going with all of this?

When I woke up and realized she was crying, more than 2 hours before she should be waking for the morning, I got irritated. Or maybe I should even go so far as to say I got angry. It wasn't simply that she was up early, though that was a big factor. Yet it was also because she did not eat as she should have last night. If she was sick or something, I wouldn't have minded so much. Anyway, back to the point, my heart was fuming.

"For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." - Matt 12:34 (ESV)

I don't know that I actually said anything sinful (maybe my husband would remember otherwise). However, I do know that I was thinking many sinful thoughts.

"Why didn't she eat like she should have last night?"
"Can't I just lay here and let her fall back to sleep?"
"All I want to do is get some sleep! Is that so much to ask?"

Anger. Idolatry. What is an idol? Anything that I'm willing to substitute and worship instead of God.

"And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it." - Isaiah 44:17

What was my idol? Sleep. Oh how I struggle in this area! Sleep is a gift from God. It reminds us that we are human and need rest to rejuvinate us. However, like any good gift, we can obsess over it and substitute it for God.

"Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty" - Prov 20:13 (ESV)

"How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man." - Prov 6:9-11 (ESV)

I chose to sin. Even as I got angry over my disrupted sleep, I knew it was wrong. Yet, I chose to sin. How evil our hearts can truly be! I need to remember that nobody else causes me to sin. The circumstances only bring out what is already in my heart. I praise God for His great forgiveness and new mercies each day! May I draw nearer to Him in my struggles.

In Christ,

Terra

Such a Short Season

Do you ever have days in which you just wished everything you were currently dealing with was over and done with? If you tell me you never have, I’ll ask you if you’re lying. ;)

Seriously though. Maybe you’re a teenage girl and you just don’t understand why your parents won’t let you date yet. “Oh, I can’t wait until I’m older,” you dream. Maybe you’re single and you just can’t wait until you’re married. “Then everything will be perfect,” you assume. Maybe you’re a mother and you can’t wait until your child is walking. “Then things will be easier,” you think. Are you kidding yourself?

During church this week (and by no means for the first time), Hannah Mai and I got to spend our quality time out in the lobby. Yep – during the sermon. This week it was because she had a cold and I did not want to spread it to all the other babies in the nursery. Most other weeks it is simply because she has some serious separation anxiety and I get paged e-v-e-r-y , single week because she won’t stop crying. As I sit in the lobby, nursery or listening room, I struggle with self pity. “All I want to do is listen to an entire sermon”, I tell myself. “Why does she have to be so difficult? Why do I have to deal with this?” Don’t get me wrong, James helps and tries to alternate who sits out with her. But naturally, she is usually more comfortable with mommy.

This past Sunday I think I struggled more than most. Even when I got home, I was angry that I didn’t get to hear any of the message (unless you count the intro!). First off, I know it is ridiculous to be angry that I didn’t get to hear a message at church…contradictory to say the least. Nevertheless, that is how I felt. So I decided to do a quick search on Sovereign Grace’s website and I stumbled across an audio message by Carolyn Mahaney titled In Every Season of Life . It sounded intriguing so I listened to the entire message while straightening up around the house.

Carolyn drove home the point that there is a season for everything. Every season will pass in one form or another. But I’ve heard all that before, why did this particular message touch me? Well, I believe the Holy Spirit wanted to convict me for starters. Then Carolyn used an example – the perfect example for me to hear. She mentioned how she used to get frustrated and irritated when her daughters (she has 3) were babies and she’d have to miss church events. Then, when her youngest daughter was 12, she gave birth to a son. After witnessing how fast her season with her daughters had happened, she grew to cherish every little “inconvenience” and need her son had. God knew this example was so perfect for me at such a perfect time. I was brought to tears as I considered my heart issues. Do I really want my little one to grow up fast so I can hear all the sermons? No way! I need to cherish these moments knowing that this season will one day pass and I don’t want to regret things like this.

I won’t say that I’ll never struggle again with this particular issue or even others that may be similar. However, I do have a bit different perspective now and trust the Lord will continue to grow me in that area.

Praise God for grace and patience!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” – Ecc. 3:1


My little Santa - doesn't she look like trouble? :)

In Christ,
Terra Santos

Christmas is Not About Family

Whoa. Before anyone accuses me of heresy, remember that I often use bold titles to accent a point. :) Please read the entire blog before you start thinking too hard of how you will confront me of my great error.

Some of my favorite Christmas memories involve spending Christmas Eve with my Mom’s family, surrounded by loved ones and food galore. Christmas Day would be spent waking up early with my sister and brother, tearing into gifts and then having a huge Christmas breakfast with my cousins. As a matter of fact, my most miserable Christmas was in 2005 when Kentucky got enough snow and ice to keep me from seeing my extended family at all. All that being said, Christmas is not about family.

I stumbled upon the following couple of statements regarding what Christmas is supposed to be about:

• Christmas is about giving.
• Christmas is about family.
• Christmas is about kids.
• Christmas is about the poor.

If taken conser-vatively, none of these statements are inherently bad. There are aspects about Christmas in which we should remember to give, love our family, share the wonder with our kids and assist the poor. However, as Christians, we must remember that Christmas is first and foremost about Christ.

Though we cannot be sure as to the exact date that Christ was born, we do know that this day has been set aside every year for us to more specifically remember that birth.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!"

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

- Luke 2:8-20 (ESV)

As Christmas continues to become more and more commercialized and the debate between “Happy Holidays” and “Merry Christmas” rages, let us slow down and think about the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus Christ, the son of God, born of a virgin, came to seek and save the lost. By His incarnation and later crucifixion and resurrection, we actually have something to celebrate about. Share that with those who don’t know Christ!

Christmas is a great time to celebrate family, friends and even food, especially chocolate. :) just wanted to encourage us all to not forget the real reason we celebrate. Praise be to God and glory in the highest!

In Christ,
Terra Santos

Rock-a-Bye Baby?

Whenever I put Hannah Mai to bed, I sing her a song. After the fourth stanza, whether or not she is sleeping, I lay her down and let her go to sleep on her own. I sing her the same song every single time. Do I sing “Rock-a-Bye Baby,” “Hush, Little Baby,” or any other common lullabies? Not exactly. Actually I sing “In Christ Alone,” by Getty & Townend. Sound odd? Let me explain.

When Hannah was first born, I tried to sing “Rock-a-Bye Baby” to her. However, when I got to the end and sang, “When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, And down will come baby, cradle and all,” I cringed. Why in the world am I singing my child a song that insinuates her death?! Okay…so that’s just one song. What’s wrong with “Hush Little Baby?” My problem with that one is that you’re pretty much singing a bribe to your child. In essence, you’re saying “Pleeeeease go to sleep and I’ll get you whatever you want.” I’m sure that song was written by a desperate mother and I’ve felt her pain. :) Yet it still does not sit well with me.

So what about “In Christ Alone” is so attractive to me? I will say it’s definitely the lyrics, though I also enjoy the tune. The lyrics lay out the gospel so clearly and beautifully. What a great way to share the gospel with my child, even long before she’ll understand. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (ESV) This passage more or less encourages us to talk about the Lord and His laws in every thing that we do. Singing her the gospel as a lullaby is just one small way I can do this with Hannah Mai.

In case you’re not familiar with the song here are the full lyrics. I pray they bless you as they have me for such a long time.

"In Christ Alone"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2001 Kingsway Thankyou Music

In Christ alone my hope is
found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this
solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights
of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless
babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came
to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was
satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I
live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by
darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave
He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its
grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood
of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of
Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my
destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His
hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll
stand.

Grace to you,
Terra Santos