Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Testing My Relationship With God

For the last 4 or 5 days, my one year old daughter Hannah has been fighting some sort of a cold. She has been incredibly moody and non-compliant. I've been giving her more "slack" because I know she doesn't feel well. She's not eating nearly as much as usual - unless the name of the food consists of "cookie" or "cheerio". She's no dummy. In addition, the cold happened to coincide with her switch from formula to soy milk. She almost always refuses the soy milk and thereby goes thirsty. Oh... and did I mention, I'm pretty sure my toothless child is teething as well. Why am I writing about this on my Titus 2 Blog instead of our family blog? Because it has tested my relationship with the Lord.

For some of you, this may sound a bit confusing. How could Hannah's illness test my relationship with God? In many, many ways, I respond. I'm not delighting in my child, as Scripture instructs. I'm doubting the Lord's goodness. I'm quickly angered and irritated with Hannah's moodiness. I'm wanting peace and a problem-free day over Godward sanctification.

On one hand, I know that "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," Romans 8:1 (ESV). All of my current sin struggles have already been crucified with Christ. Praise the Lord. On the other hand, "I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing," Romans 7:19 (ESV). May God lead me during this time of growth in Christ.

In Him,
Terra

1 comment:

Maggie Ainsworth said...

Terra,
I will be praying for grace for you as you parent Hannah. Is she feeling any better yet?