This is not middle school ladies

A few days ago, my friend Kennisha Fisher posted this on a popular local mom's Facebook support page.  I wanted to be able to share it with others and got her permission to repost it as a blog.  I removed a few names and details from the post to make it easier to understand for those that don't know the situation that brought this conversation about.  

This is for all the Mamas that think they have it all figured out - as well as those of us who realize we don't (on our good days).  Let's do ourselves a favor and stop the crazy Mommy Wars.

--------

Listen. 

I'm about to be extremely honest. 

I need everyone to take a moment and re-evaluate why you are here. 

Ladies, I know that we are all passionate, headstrong, loving women. Or maybe shy, timid, quiet women. Either way, I know that we care about our children beyond what anyone could ever believe or see. As a parent of almost eleven years let me tell you a secret. 

The first year to two years of your child's life is the most roller coaster, inconsistent, challenging, self-doubt ridden, sleep-deprived coma of your life. EV. Er. Y. single thing you do, you question, especially with your first baby. Some people have numerous outlets of support, some people are literally pulling at straws to find anyone to help them on their journey. Some people from both of those groups land here. 

This is not middle school ladies. However one thing about this group is very similar to middle school. Most of the things that cause the most stir WILL NOT MATTER IN THREE YEARS. As soon as you finish one chapter in your child rearing, something else seems like an unattainable achievement. YOU. WILL. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. have doubts. 

My plea is this. Evaluate your reason for being here. Figure out what you bring into this space. Let me give you an example. Real talk.

Yesterday I went with my almost 11 year old to deliver his birthday invitations. He sends them to the same 7 boys every year. Sweet kids. Great parents. They speak to me while at school and seem to be raising amazing young men. Now they are all at different middle schools. So here I am, driving around in a nicer neighborhood than where I live, where they ALL live, and I start getting a little mad. I then realize that I don't think my son has ever been invited to their birthday parties. Here I am wasting my gas, delivering invites to a bunch of people who think they are better than us! I was really starting to get pissed. 

So one of the moms comes out to my car to thank me for thinking of her boy. She says, and I quote: 

"You always have to coolest birthday parties! We are always so impressed with the invitations and ideas you come up with. I hate to even say it out loud, but I feel bad because I NEVER throw my kids a party. I just don't have time. I let them get pizza and invite the neighborhood kids over. Then I think of you with your five boys and wonder how in the world does she do it?"

She went on to say how all of them work five days a week, so do their husbands, and no one really gets a chance to do anything as elaborate as I do. She said she feels bad for just buying him the top three things off his list every year without figuring out what HE might actually want to do. My work from home self-employment status allows me to be here when my babies get home and take days off to plan really cool birthday parties. 

Boom. Shut down. Here I was judging her and she is feeling inadequate in what she does in my sad limelight. It's a vicious circle. It will keep happening. It doesn't end with formula/breast, cloth/disposable, vac/non-vac, circa/non-circ, public/private/homeschool, CIO/co-sleep, spank/timeout, etc.

It NEVER ends. 

So make a decision. Whichever you want to make. Stick to it. Write it on a board if you have to. There is a difference between looking for help and validation. There is a difference between a point and soapbox. There is a huge difference between my kid and your kid. Let's take a moment and respect the hell out of that. 

When you log off from this forum, you should feel filled. Occasionally, you should fill someone up. STOP TEARING AT EACH OTHER. 

Because in three years, your babies won't be babies and they don't need mama's stressed out because some other mama told her how to do her job. 

Either you are in the village, or you can kindly step out. 

Know that I love each and every one of you and will help you in any way that I can. Mincing words is not my strong suit.

---------

Love me some Kennisha Fisher.  Thanks for saying what needed to be said girl!

Take care all!  I hope you appreciated her thoughts.

~Terra

The Great Big Disclaimer

I never understood why disclaimers were such a big deal.  After my "Pregnant? Again?!" post and a few links shared on Facebook, I get it.  So here is our "Great Big Disclaimer" post.  PLEASE read thoroughly. :)

• It is not our intention to say we believe the one right and only way to do things biblically (whether that is in regards to marriage, parenting, schooling, family size and so on).  There are many things in the Bible that may be arguable even among Christians but are not related to our salvation in Christ.  Where there is this room, we call it gospel freedom.
• We also understand that different families have different convictions regarding different aspects of the Christian life.  One family may have strong convictions regarding eating only local, organic foods while another does not think twice about it's regular use of mostly processed foods.  One family may be convicted that homeschooling is the best option for them whereas another family thinks being a light in the public school system is more mission-oriented. 
• If our family believes the Lord has given us certain convictions, it would be sinful for us to go against those.  However, it would also be sinful if we tried to push our convictions on issues where Scripture is arguable on those who are convicted otherwise.  Clear as mud?
• We've chosen to write about particular issues on this blog simply for the fact that they are personal to us and allow us the opportunity to explain why we do things the way we do or believe what we believe.  They are not meant to condemn or discourage those who may have differing opinions or beliefs.  If you take nothing else from this post, please take that. 
• Lastly, these thoughts are expressly the views of our family and do not necessarily reflect the stances of our church, places of employment or otherwise.  Our church has a core set of beliefs that we fully agree with.  Certain issues are considered "open-handed" and non-essential to our core beliefs.  The many leaders and members may have differing views and still be a part of the same body, growing in love and santification in Christ.

I hope these points help clarify a few things about our blogging.  There will certainly be posts where we'll all have to lovingly agree to disagree, and we're okay with that.  We'll do our best to share openly, kindly, respectfully and thoughtfully on any topic we pursue.  We hope our readers will do the same with comments and encouragment.

"Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20-21, NIV.

On the Upswing

So I've kept many of you all waiting for two long weeks without writing updates about all the health problems I mentioned in my last post. Well, I guess if you were super worried, you would have called or emailed by now. haha. Wait no longer...

James' TEE test went well. It was a very uncomfortable procedure as he had to have his entire mouth and throat numbed. He said he felt like he was choking on his own saliva because his swallowing mechanism was not working. Fortunately, the anesthesia kicked in soon after. The doctor said that everything looked completely normal. He didn't even see the "thickening" that had been seen in a previous test which led to this one. So we praise God for those results. James was sick to his stomach the rest of the evening but began feeling normal again the next day. As for the rheumatologist results, no new information there. The testing they did for gout came back negative. From what I've read online, this test is not conclusive and does not necessarily mean he does not have gout. His levels simply may not have been high enough during the test to show a positive result. They basically told him to call again when he has another full blown episode and they'd try to work him in. That way they could do the testing when he was in the middle of an episode (which he was not during his first visit).

As for me and the BPPV (vertigo), I've been doing better. The first few days after treatment were rough and very nauseating. I continued to feel pretty crummy for about one week. These last 3 or 4 days I've been feeling quite a bit better though not 100%. I'm noticing that fast movement (such as looking out of the car window) is still causing me some issues. I go back to the doc on the 31st for a re-test. I'll be treated again if it's still there. But as I said, I've been feeling much better these last few days so I'm grateful for that!

As for the kids, on a health note, they've been doing great. This time of the year is my favorite for that. I started noticing Sophia preferred to hold her head towards her right shoulder. But since Hannah had womb-induced torticollis, I am familiar with treating that. I went ahead and started stretching Sophia and working on getting her movements centralized. I've noticed great improvement and can hardly even tell she's had a preference now! Very exciting. She's been a super easy-going sweet baby.

Hannah and I went on a Mommy/Daughter Princess Tea Party at a local kid's place last night. That was a lot of fun for her. She's painfully shy but we continue to try and encourage her gently when we can. She got to choose a dress, get her nails painted, hair fixed and choose makeup. The girls all walked the runway to show off their pretty selves (which she did with my holding her hand). We had cookies and apple juice. We met Belle, Cinderella, Prince Charming and the Fairy Godmother. She colored pictures, played some games and came home with a balloon. I'll try to get pictures uploaded by my next post.

Benjamin is full swing into his twos. We have to stay very consistent with encouraging and disciplining him or he's a mess. That said, I've seen a little more of his sweetness lately if we are. We're going to start potty-training Thursday. Fun stuff!

Okay, I feel this is getting very long now so I'll stop writing. Until next time....

Take Care,
Terra

Health Fun

Parenting lately has been pretty entertaining because of some health issues. As I mentioned a few posts ago, James has had a lot of problems with his right hand/wrist lately. We've always assumed it was arthritis (he has a great deal of genetics playing against him). Today, a rheumatologist told him she thought it was probably gout. They did more blood work and xrays and we'll wait for further thoughts from her. Thursday he gets something called a TEE on his heart. It's basically an ultrasound inserted through the esophagus to check on the heart. James was told he has some thickening in one of his valves and so they are going to check everything out and see if there is anything to worry about.

Then about two weeks ago, I decided to start doing yoga again. Just a few days later, I started getting dizzy and nauseous. For some, that may mean little. For me, with a past of BPPV (positional vertigo), I knew otherwise. I went to the doc this morning and had my suspicion confirmed and retreated in office. So I get to sleep upright for the next two evenings and have to keep my head level for 48hrs. Add increasing muscle spasms behind my right shoulder blade and I think we're both falling apart! What in the world are we going to feel like if we live to be older!? We're only 33 and 29 now!

So... picture all of the above. Then add three children ages three and under. Plus one or two if I'm nannying. It can lead to some interesting days! Fortunately, God reminds us that He is strong in our weaknesses and we're definitely physically weak these days! And all this sounds horrible but it's usually not everything bothering both of us at once. There are little graces each day.

I'm in the process of planning Hannah's "Tangled" birthday party. That should be fun. We've started doing a little more school time each day, since she's not in a formal program. The hardest part of that is keeping Benjamin (2) and Sophia (2 1/2mo) entertained while doing so. I usually wait till Sophia is sleeping since she still does that a lot these days. Benjamin is a bit more challenging. Oh... and then potty training comes soon...

Until next time...

Take Care,
Terra

Easter and Birthdays

As I mentioned in my last post, we celebrated Benjamin's second birthday this Saturday. Then on Sunday, we celebrated Easter. My in-laws came in from Florida last Wednesday and stayed for six days. So it's been busy but fun!

For Benjamin's birthday, we went with a music theme because he loves to sing and dance. My mother-in-law cooked a crazy amount of amazing Filipino food, which is typical for special events in their culture. My mom always made our birthday cakes growing up and so I have continued the tradition. This year's cake was a special challenge. The idea itself was very simple: a sheet cake with simple icing and piped music notes/designs on the top. The fun began when the cake refused to pull away from the pan (even though I'd used cooking spray as instructed). Several chunks from the top separated when I pulled the pan off. I pieced them back together with icing. Because it had broken in so many places, as I iced the cake, crumbs were everywhere. My white icing was quickly speckled with chocolate cake. Solution? Add more icing delicately enough to cover it. Good thing I had extra. Then came the decorating. Apparently I didn't use the right type of icing or something because it was completely losing it's shape as I piped it. Stars were blobs. I was very frustrated and moments from tossing the whole thing in the trash and ordering one from the grocery. But God gave me grace and determination. I pushed through and in the end, though it wasn't as great as I'd planned, it worked. :) Check out pictures of the cake and the party here.

Easter was great. Church in the morning. Lunch at the Golden Corral (no cooking!). Afternoon nap. Egg hunt inside (it's rained for about 12 of the last 14 days - seriously). Pictures from Easter and other recent fun here.

Our biggest parenting challenge lately has been Benjamin. Reaching the two year mark, he's very much a two year old. He's challenging us in about every way he can. Tantrums and whining have become daily issues that we're trying to nip in the bud. It's been a real challenge and very draining for sure. But then I look at my almost four year old and remember that consistency really pays off in the end. It's just gathering enough energy to be consistent as we should in the moment. Some days are better than others for sure!

Until next time...
Take Care,
Terra

Invisible Mother......

I have no idea who the author is but a friend forwarded this to me by email and I thought it was encouraging... To all the mommies out there:

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store..

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England.
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feelingpretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam; He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it..' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right; And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Such a big girl

Wow...where has the time gone?

No More Bottle

Yes...you read that right - no more bottle. Since Hannah is getting close to one (May 26), we've been working on switching her to a sippy cup. Some days have been harder than others but I'm excited to announce that Hannah has been bottle free since Monday! ;) I wasn't expecting to fully switch her over so soon but since she's not having a problem with it, why not? Here's a picture of her enjoying her very last bottle Sunday night. I can't believe how fast she's growing up! Take Care,
Terra

Hannah has a Secret...

And it's a secret she wants to tell the world:

(Hint: Read Hannah's shirt)

Some people have said they can't see what that says...

How about now?

In case you're STILL confused, we're expecting another baby!!! We are so extremely excited that we can hardly contain it! Considering I was told that I could have a hard time getting pregnant the longer we wait (because of ovarian cyst problems), we didn't want to take our chances. God has blessed us! If my calculations are correct, we should be due around November 20th. We'll most definitely keep everyone posted with progress!

Praise God for His grace!

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.

Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"

Psalms 127:3-5 (ESV)

Food...and Hannah Mai

At 7 1/2 months old, Hannah's meal plan continues to change and grow. It has been interesting to see what types of foods she likes and dislikes, as well as those she's allergic to. In case you really care, her currently stats are as follows:

Favorites:
· Green Beans
· Green Peas
· Sweet Potatoes
· Apple, Strawberry, Banana Mix

Other Baby Food Likes:
· Chicken (if mixed with veggies)
· Rice Cereal (if mixed with apple juice)
· Carrots
· Prunes
· Applesauce
· Bananas
· Chicken and Broccoli
· Ham and Veggies
· Apple Juice

From the Dinner Table (These are things we've let her taste of ours. Don't worry, we're not giving her these things on a regular basis!)
· Tomato Soup
· Baked Beans
· Sweet Tea (hehe)

Dislikes:
· Turkey
· Peaches

Allergies:
· Dairy
· Soy (I'm developing a new theory on this one)
· Wheat/Oat/Gluten (not sure which yet)

She also never ceases to amaze me with her highchair antics. Lately, she's been trying to play two games with me. The first is called "I'm going to pretend to scare you like you do to me." She goes completely still, stares without blinking and then lunges forward at me, slapping her hand on the highchair. We do this to her to make her laugh and apparently she's learning to imitate. The second game is called "Let me laugh the entire time you are trying to feed me so half of my food drops out of my mouth." This one drives me crazy. She's laughing so I can't help but laugh also but she won't close her mouth long enough to swallow half of the time. Then the food ends up on her, her bib or the highchair - not in her stomach!

She working on using a sippy cup. She likes it okay but doesn't quite prefer it yet. She can hold her own bottle now, though she likes to play with it when she does. I still hold if for her half of the time just to make sure she eats!

It's been quite entertaining to watch her personality grow. I would say that she shows the most stubbornness at mealtimes (if it's something she does not like). She lets me know if her formula is not warm enough to her liking. She gobbles down food she likes at a pace I've never seen.

So...now that you are fully aware of Hannah and her eating habits, are you hungry? ;)

Take care,

Terra

Stranger Anxiety

Over the last week, Hannah Mai has developed a new fear: “strangers.” I put it in quotations because it doesn’t have to be a true stranger. It can be a family member or friend, just someone other than mom or dad. She is very vocal about this fear as well – screaming for upwards of an hour, non-stop, with the power of her trumpet-like vocal chords. According to several resources I’ve researched, it’s common for babies to develop this fear anywhere between 5-8 months of age. Hannah fell right into the statistic.

I remember in the past when I’d see a kid freaking out about his/her parents leaving, I didn’t quite understand. What was this kid’s problem? Why was he/she so dramatic? Do the parents never let him/her stay with someone else so they don’t develop such an issue? There I go again. Judging everyone but my own heart. Part of me thinks it is because I’m a stay at home mom that makes it harder for Hannah to go to strangers. But then, she’ll easily go to James and he works very hard and very often – away from home. So then I say, maybe the “experts” are right on this one.

If nothing else, this episode has caused me to look inward. It has reminded me that I’m not as smart as I sometimes think I am and I don’t know it all either. It reminded me to offer grace to those around me when I don’t understand their way of dealing with problems. It points me to Christ as I know no where else to look for wisdom.

Please pray for my patience over the next few months. Supposedly this anxiety lasts until about nine months of age. It’s very easy for me to get frustrated when Hannah Mai won’t cooperate with others. I know I will struggle as she continues to freak out and not stay in the nursery at church or with the babysitter on our date night. On the positive side, it shows me that she loves me and I can meet her needs. That is a nice feeling.

Until next time…
Terra

An Encouragement to Wives (especially those who are mothers)

Have you ever woken up to the sound of a crying baby? You get out of bed for the 2nd or 3rd time in the last 8 hours. You feed your infant and if you are lucky, you go back to bed. When the baby decides it’s time to wake up for the day, you crawl to your feet and get out of bed. Maybe the sound of an infant is in the past and you are dealing with toddlers or teens.

Or maybe you don’t have children. Maybe your husband works during the day and you at night. Or maybe you are blessed enough to not have to work a job outside of the home in the first place.

With all of these things going on around you, are you ever tempted to delay your shower? Maybe you shower but you don’t have any errands to run today (lucky you!), so you don’t bother with getting dressed or putting on makeup. Maybe you’ve given up on looking nice at all. I mean, why bother if there’s no one you are trying to impress, right?

I disagree. Let me begin with a disclaimer to what I am getting ready to say. I truly believe the beauty of a woman comes from within. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” Some of you may read this and say that it means we are not supposed to braid our hair or wear jewelry. However, if that is true, it would also be saying that we were not supposed to wear clothes! Personally, I don’t believe that is what is being said at all. I was listening to a message by Carolyn Mahaney the other day and she made this point regarding this passage. The Bible says God has created us in His image. By nature, God creates things beautiful. It is not wrong for us to try to make ourselves beautiful (and in doing so, we’re reflecting the image of God) – as long as our beauty does not become an idol in our lives.

Now that being said, I’ll get back to the point of this blog. Do you think it blesses your husband to come home to a wife that has spent little or no time getting ready for him? Think about it. When you first dated, into engagement and maybe even when you first got married, I would be willing to bet you spent significantly more time trying to look nice for him. Now you may take less time to look (or even smell!) nice for him. There are days that I am tempted to do this, trust me.

Maybe you say, “I've never worn makeup anyway” or “I have always dressed down around him.” If that is so, I am not telling you to start wearing makeup or dressing for a night on the town. Every woman has their own beauty regimen. Some are much more elaborate than others. Maybe yours is just showering and brushing your hair. That is great – I wish I were you! The point is you still have a regimen.

Regardless of how we spend our day, whether it is with a handful of children or cleaning the house, I believe it is a service to our husbands to care for ourselves. So that is my encouragement. If you have slacked in caring for yourself, freshen up a bit today and enjoy the smile on your husband’s face when he comes home.

Grace to you,
Terra

You learn something new every day

Whoever coined the phrase "You learn something new every day" was so right. And I never realized it as much until I had a child! Not only does Hannah seem to learn something new everyday, I do as well. Lately, it seems that we've been learning something new about Hannah every day regarding her health. (To say every day is probably a bit of a stretch here but it has been often.)

Last week, after two continuous weeks of fussiness and diarrhea, I took Hannah back to the pediatrician. On top of the cow’s milk allergy, they think she also has a soy allergy. Apparently 50% of the kids allergic to cow’s milk are also allergic to soy. And of course, my daughter has to be one of them. Today I will try rice milk for the first time. You cannot possibly imagine how much food has milk or soy in it until you are not aloud to have it. You start believing you will starve before you can find something you are actually allowed to eat. Some of you may be saying, why don’t you just switch to formula already?! Well, don’t think the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. I guess the main reasons are: 1) I still believe breast milk is better for her, as long as I have no physical problems that prohibit me from producing; 2) It’s easier than dealing with formula, bottles and dishes (especially in the middle of the night); and 3) the type of formula she has to use now with the allergies, is THE most expensive formula they make. But God is good to us and he continues to give me the patience I need.

In addition to the fun we’ve had with feedings, we’ve also been told that Hannah may need to see a children’s physical therapist for her neck. Some of you may have noticed that Hannah has a huge preference to looking towards her left side and bending to the right. She’s done this since she was born but it’s not gotten any better. Now, she’s developing a flat spot on the back of her head from it. My doc is afraid she could develop something called “torticollis” (a painful neck problem) if Hannah does not start correcting the issue now. Needless to say, the physical therapist is supposed to be calling me back to set up a time to evaluate her. Then they will tell us whether or not it is something to be concerned about.

Please pray for us as we deal with these different things. I really must say that God continues to mold me on a daily basis as I deal with a child that fusses more than not. And the scariest thing is that I’m already looking at pregnant women and thinking “I think I’m ready for that again.” Am I? Wow.

Until next time…
Terra

Hannah Mai's First Allergy

The day seemed to be going as any other. I had my bowl of cereal for breakfast, went for a walk around the neighborhood, and met up with some friends for Starbucks. I took my car to get it checked out (after a fender-bender on Friday) and hung out with my husband James while we waited. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I finished his Starbucks as well. Things started to settle down once we got home. I fed Hannah Mai and shortly afterwards, went to change her diaper. Not only was it a poopy one, but it was mixed with blood. I debated whether or not I was imagining things and asked my husband what he thought it looked like. He confirmed my “diagnosis” and I immediately called the pediatrician.

About two and a half hours later, we were walking out of the pediatrician’s office with the verdict – an allergy to a protein in cow’s milk. She’s nearly three months old, why didn’t we know this sooner? Thanks to my day full of dairy (remember the Starbucks?), we found out the hard way. Considering she’s breastfed, it means her mommy, aka yours truly, has to either cut dairy out of her diet or switch to formula. Can I do that? What about my morning cereal? What about my chocolate? What about my beloved Starbucks?! After the initial shell shock I tried to think logically. Well, there is soy milk, I could substitute. But would I like it? How long would it take to get used to it? Thoughtfully, my wonderful neighbor Amy promptly sent her oldest son over to my house with some to try. And it was not all that bad after all. She also informed me that they make it in many different flavors and I was sure to find one I liked. Okay, so that problem is solved. Now what about my chocolate? Here’s where my friend Kelly comes in. Her oldest child is also allergic and she’s been substituting for several years now. She reminded me that there are brownie mixes and cocoa recipes that don’t call for milk. She promises I can still get my chocolate fix.

The pediatrician said he sees about two to three patients per year with this situation and Hannah Mai’s diaper was “textbook” perfect. Great. Look what we get to brag about! I read that only one to three percent of children actually have an allergy to this protein. Fortunately, I was assured that most children grow out of it by the age of one and many of the remaining ones grow out of it by three. Then there are poor kids like Kelly’s son who get it for good. Where will Hannah Mai fall?

It should be an interesting transition, that’s for sure. I always says I’m up for a challenge if it’s able to be overcome. I guess this is my newest!



Take care,
Terra

Hannah Mai - A poem

Oh the dreams we have for you,
The things we hope to see you do.
What will your personality be?
We’ll just have to wait and see.

We pray you’ll live by your name:
Hannah and “grace” mean the same.
That you’ll be joyful, loving and kind,
Patient, teachable, wise in mind.

May you be forgiving, humble, faithful to the Lord,
A good listener, friendly, a student of the Word.
Be adventurous, a risk-taker, a leader in Christ,
Tender, submissive, hard to entice.

Hospitable, hardworking, creator of peace,
Burden-bearing so that strivings may cease.
Creative in spirit, beautiful in His sight,
We pray these things in you take flight.


Ideas and qualities by Mommy and Daddy.
Written by Mommy. 6.23.2007

Early Mommy-hood

I’ve been peed on, pooped on, and spit up on. I’ve changed many diapers only to have them filled up the moment I finish snapping her onesie back together. I’ve battled getting her back to sleep after her middle of the night feedings, trying not to keep daddy up since he has to be awake at 5 a.m. for work. I cried when they told me she’d have to stay an extra day in the hospital because of her jaundice. I cringed each time they pricked her little feet for a blood sample. I’ve laughed loudly at her funny faces, gestures, and sounds. I’ve enjoyed cuddling with her and James. I’ve read to her and sang to her. All this, and to think, she’s only 12 days old.

Early “mommy-hood,” that’s what I’m calling it. I feel like I’ve learned so much in less than two weeks but have so very much more to learn over the next couple of decades of childrearing. Most of my days seem to fly by and I get to the end of the day, wondering if I actually accomplished anything at all. Other days seem to creep as I debate what I should do while she sleeps. Should I clean? Catch up on emails? Finish the closet project I began before I was induced? So many decisions…

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed some of the effects her appearance has had on our marriage. In a positive way, it has brought James and I closer together. Going through labor and delivery with him brought about a new level of intimacy we hadn’t known. Cuddling with and sharing some parenting responsibilities has drawn us closer. At the same time, lack of sleep has caused me to be more easily irritated. I know personally I haven’t handled even small issues as well as before. Our time together is limited as he provides for our family by working two jobs. But we’re determined to care for our marriage and have weekly date nights planned. We know we should always put God first, then our marriage, then our children and we will strive to do our best in this calling.

In spite of the hardships, the last two weeks have really been a joy. We have a new life in our house. What an amazing miracle to know that I carried this little one around in my body for 9 months and now I can care for her in all new ways. God is so good to us! I already feel like she’s getting bigger, even when people comment on how small she is. I can’t believe I’m truly a mommy.

Until next time…

Terra