Friday, June 8, 2007
I’ve been peed on, pooped on, and spit up on. I’ve changed many diapers only to have them filled up the moment I finish snapping her onesie back together. I’ve battled getting her back to sleep after her middle of the night feedings, trying not to keep daddy up since he has to be awake at 5 a.m. for work. I cried when they told me she’d have to stay an extra day in the hospital because of her jaundice. I cringed each time they pricked her little feet for a blood sample. I’ve laughed loudly at her funny faces, gestures, and sounds. I’ve enjoyed cuddling with her and James. I’ve read to her and sang to her. All this, and to think, she’s only 12 days old.
Early “mommy-hood,” that’s what I’m calling it. I feel like I’ve learned so much in less than two weeks but have so very much more to learn over the next couple of decades of childrearing. Most of my days seem to fly by and I get to the end of the day, wondering if I actually accomplished anything at all. Other days seem to creep as I debate what I should do while she sleeps. Should I clean? Catch up on emails? Finish the closet project I began before I was induced? So many decisions…
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed some of the effects her appearance has had on our marriage. In a positive way, it has brought James and I closer together. Going through labor and delivery with him brought about a new level of intimacy we hadn’t known. Cuddling with and sharing some parenting responsibilities has drawn us closer. At the same time, lack of sleep has caused me to be more easily irritated. I know personally I haven’t handled even small issues as well as before. Our time together is limited as he provides for our family by working two jobs. But we’re determined to care for our marriage and have weekly date nights planned. We know we should always put God first, then our marriage, then our children and we will strive to do our best in this calling.
In spite of the hardships, the last two weeks have really been a joy. We have a new life in our house. What an amazing miracle to know that I carried this little one around in my body for 9 months and now I can care for her in all new ways. God is so good to us! I already feel like she’s getting bigger, even when people comment on how small she is. I can’t believe I’m truly a mommy.
Until next time…