Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Pregnant? Again?!

I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.  Many of you may remember this comment from one of my posts after delivering Sophia:  "Though we're not 100% sure, this will likely be our last biological baby." 
Our current pregnancy is:
  • Not an accident or "oopsie moment", it was simply a blessing we chose to receive.
  • Just as exciting as our first was.
  • Due on my birthday... how cool is that?
  • Rather confirms the first part of that Feb. 22nd post, "Though we're not 100% sure..."
  • A blessing but has no guarantees.  The Lord gives and the Lord takes away as we learned in 2008.
I spent a great deal of the last pregnancy trying to convince James to let this "be our last one."  We always have adoption on our hearts so I thought that was next.  It was a particularly difficult pregnancy and even had the scare of heart problems for myself.  In the end, the cardiologist said there was nothing to worry about and everything else eventually ceased as well.

After Sophia was about three months old, my heart slowly started to change.  Could that really have been the last time I experienced the joys of new life in the womb?  Yes, yes... no... no?  It was hard... remember that part Terra? 

When James and I first married, we said we were letting the Lord choose the hows, whens and how manys of our family size.  But then four pregnancies (one loss), hard physical struggles, and a short 3 1/2 years later, I wasn't so sure God knew what was best for us.  Maybe we could do a better job with this whole planning thing?

Those close to us continued to struggle with infertility or loss after loss while we were determined to make our own choices.  One recent evening, I listened yet again to one of those stories of heartache.  Suddenly, with great conviction, I decided it was time to let go.  As well as I can calculate, it was that same time we conceived.

I know there are many other questions and thoughts out there.  I know some people think we're a little crazy.  And I have much, much more to write on the topic.  But I think this blog has gotten long enough for now.  Stay tuned for more.  And rejoice with us now for the Lord has chosen to bless us once more!

Until next time...

Terra

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just so you know, I don't think you owe anyone an explanation!! You are faithful, godly family and another Santos baby is awesome!! :) we're super excited for you guys!
- Leslie Hoback

Jason Case said...

Praying for you, your family and your pregnancy. There is a huge need/opportunity for a Filipino church plant here in Hong Kong if you guys might have a heart for Asia.

Denise S. in KY said...

You guys owe no one any explanation! However, I am truly blessed that you shared what you've shared so far AND I will "stay tuned"!! Many Blessing to the Santos family!!

Steph said...

I had so many of the same thoughts leading up to our current pregnancy! But after much prayer and discussion with Kevin we both felt peace and excitement about adding to our family if it was in the Lords plan. We found out about baby #3 about a week later :) Congrats again!

thebells said...

Rejoicing with you all, definitely!!!

Courtney said...

Saw that Bill already commented, and I totally echo him. :) Funny, I was thinking about you two days ago and thought, "I wonder when we'll hear Terra is pregnant again?" :)

The Santos Family said...

Thanks friends! And Courtney, that's just funny. :)