A Summary of Our Mold Experience (in posts)

Often people want to know about our mold experience.  It's quite hard to sum up the entire thing in one post.  Eventually, we may make a video or write a series of blogs.  Until then, here are some posts about what the process looked like for us (it'll be different for everyone).  We're MILES ahead of where we were and are so very grateful for that.

This is a long but detailed post of our health issues and the back story to it all:
https://jamesandterra.blogspot.com/2016/03/mold-our-health-timeline-part1.html

This post was where we explained the course of action we were taking and why.  It also gives some helpful links for you to research more on the topic:
http://jamesandterra.blogspot.com/2016/03/mold-our-health-timeline-part2.html

This post was a bit about our recovery plan put together by Dr. Janette Hope: http://jamesandterra.blogspot.com/2016/04/mold-and-our-healing-plan-of-action.html

Lastly, here is a summary of all of the updates we posted (in chronological order) on our fundraising page when it was still open: http://jamesandterra.blogspot.com/2016/09/yearofmold.html

Take care,
Terra

Transition Central

It’s been a year of transitions, some small but many major.  The fact that we are still alive and doing well is the grace of God alone.

In the last month:

• Oldest 3 kids started public school after 5yrs of homeschooling.
• Kids also started riding a school bus. 
• Youngest 2 kids have been working on potty training.
• Daniel dropped his afternoon nap.
• Abigail switched to a forward facing carseat.
• I (Terra) have an almost two year old without having another baby (that’s a first!) or even being pregnant.

In the last 2-3 months:

• Abigail stopped using a pacifier
• We moved for the 3rd time since March; finally to a permanent home in a new neighborhood in a new city.
• Abi dropped her morning nap

In the last year:

• James changed his full time job.
• James and I traveled across the country to seek the help of specialists and enjoyed the longest time we’d ever had away from the children.
• We’ve overcome some HUGE medical concerns and continue to work on others.
• We had to suddenly (within 2 weeks notice) leave the only home we’d known as a family for almost 11 years.  We also had to say goodbye to approximately 95% of our possessions at the same time due to mold illness.
• Our church changed to a new physical location.
• I began a year long health coaching certification program online.
• Sophia began riding a 2 wheel bike with no training wheels
• Abigail began walking AND talking.

So if you want to know why it’s been a crazy year…  Now you know.  Praise be to God I can share that we’re probably thriving more now than we have in a LONG time.

Until next time…

Take care,

Terra

I'm always right. No really, I am.

"You couldn't ever argue with her because she was always right.  Always.  And the sad thing is that most of the time she was."

These are the words my mom used to describe me growing up just a few years ago.  And they are spot on, just ask my siblings.  Ever since I was a small child (the oldest of three), I've had a passion and knowledge for the truth.  I'm a true research nerd in just about every sense of the word.  Books and the internet are some of my closest friends.  I LOVE to read and yet 99% of my reading is non-fiction.  It's almost like I have a personal quest in life to have all the answers - the right ones.  When there is a flaw in something, I'm quick to notice and point it out.  I would've made an amazing copy-editor with a little education in the area.  With age and maturity, I've often learned to keep silent on such issues but definitely not all of the time.  After all, if something is truth, shouldn't the truth be made known?  That's a rhetorical question by the way.  If you're familiar with the enneagram, I'm a die-hard 1 with a lot of 6 and 3 mixed in.  It doesn't get any more black and white than that.

This has affected my life in countless ways, both good and bad.

Relationships: I have a tendency to place "rightness" over the relationship itself with family, friends, children and even my spouse. 

Education: Science, Logic and Math were my favorite subjects.  After all, there is generally one right answer. 

Budgeting: Though there isn't always one right way to come establish a budget, once it's established, I'm golden. 

Health/Exercise/Wellness/Dietary Restrictions: This is a tricky one as there are always two sides of the pendulum and then the happy medium.  Our family has been plagued with health issues and so I've been on that quest for the specific reasons why.  One resource will blame a food/habit while another praises it's benefits. 

Religion: I'm a Christian who has certainly struggled at times with thinking my ways of doing things or beliefs about non-essential topics are without flaw. I do think there is ultimate, unarguable truth here but not over every. single. last. open-handed issue.

Parenting/Schooling: I've run the gamut of parenting philosophies and homeschooling methods.  It's always been tempting to think that whichever method I'm using at the time is the only right one.  Yet God chose to bless me with five very different children who've crushed many of those assumptions.  I've learned that some things work well in certain seasons, with certain personalities and even then, not always consistently. Oh how I've been judgmental in these areas!

Decision-making: I can become absolutely paralyzed if I don't have "all the information" first.  And the difficult thing is there is always more information and always a limited amount of time and resources.

So.  Where does all of this land me?  Increasingly dependent on the grace of God alone.  Am I always right?  Absolutely not!  What happens to my spirit and my soul when I'm not?  I've learned that life is FULL of gray and things are not always as black and white as I wish they were.  Do I get crushed and fall under the weight of my supposed failure?  Should I trample on my relationships to have the last, right word?  When I am right, can I be so without gloating, having to prove a point, or pushing people away?

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall." - Proverbs 16:18, ESV

My hope...

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'" - Lamentations 3:23, ESV

Until next time...

Take care,
Terra

Pregnant? Again?!

I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.  Many of you may remember this comment from one of my posts after delivering Sophia:  "Though we're not 100% sure, this will likely be our last biological baby." 
Our current pregnancy is:

• Not an accident or "oopsie moment", it was simply a blessing we chose to receive.
• Just as exciting as our first was.
• Due on my birthday... how cool is that?
• Rather confirms the first part of that Feb. 22nd post, "Though we're not 100% sure..."
• A blessing but has no guarantees.  The Lord gives and the Lord takes away as we learned in 2008.

I spent a great deal of the last pregnancy trying to convince James to let this "be our last one."  We always have adoption on our hearts so I thought that was next.  It was a particularly difficult pregnancy and even had the scare of heart problems for myself.  In the end, the cardiologist said there was nothing to worry about and everything else eventually ceased as well.

After Sophia was about three months old, my heart slowly started to change.  Could that really have been the last time I experienced the joys of new life in the womb?  Yes, yes... no... no?  It was hard... remember that part Terra? 

When James and I first married, we said we were letting the Lord choose the hows, whens and how manys of our family size.  But then four pregnancies (one loss), hard physical struggles, and a short 3 1/2 years later, I wasn't so sure God knew what was best for us.  Maybe we could do a better job with this whole planning thing?

Those close to us continued to struggle with infertility or loss after loss while we were determined to make our own choices.  One recent evening, I listened yet again to one of those stories of heartache.  Suddenly, with great conviction, I decided it was time to let go.  As well as I can calculate, it was that same time we conceived.

I know there are many other questions and thoughts out there.  I know some people think we're a little crazy.  And I have much, much more to write on the topic.  But I think this blog has gotten long enough for now.  Stay tuned for more.  And rejoice with us now for the Lord has chosen to bless us once more!

Until next time...

Terra

Thank You

Today we received an unexpected envelope from someone that kept themselves anonymous. The giver said they wanted to encourage us and "God bless us." I have no idea who mailed the envelope, but if you happen to be one of our blog readers, I wanted to say thank you. Your thoughtfulness means so much you cannot possibly understand. May God bless you and yours ten-fold.

Thank you,
Terra (and the rest of the Santos')

27 Years of God's Grace!

“Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. 2 This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him." 3 Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." 4 Nicodemus said to him, "How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?" 5 Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born again.' 8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit."

“9 Nicodemus said to him, "How can these things be?" 10 Jesus answered him, "Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? 11 Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. 12 If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? 13 No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. 14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15 that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.” -John 3:1-15 (ESV)

Today, I celebrate my 27th birthday. Twenty-seven years of God’s grace! I praise God for the gift of life. I praise Him for the gift of family. I praise Him for the gift of friends. Most importantly, I praise Him for Jesus Christ!

The passage I quoted above was not by accident. At the age of 21, God radically changed my life. I finally understood that I could not make myself happy with relationships, parties, alcohol, good grades and so forth. The Holy Spirit convicted me of the sin in my life. I understood that Jesus Christ died the death I deserved. As both God and man, He could do just that. He rose on the third day and ascended into heaven. I placed my entire life in His hands. I was His. I had no idea what this would mean for me, but I was ready to find out. I was “born again.”

I thank the Lord for His grace in my life. He provided me with a wonderful mother (who chose to give birth to me in the first place). His safety net has surrounded me through spinal meningitis, a horrible car accident in ’94, a dangerously high fever in a 3rd world country, pregnancies and so forth. His love has surrounded me with His every day patience, encouragement, provisions, etc. His comforting arms held me during the death of my father in 2000, the loss of our second child to miscarriage, and numerous family issues. His joy has lifted me in praise as I think of who He is, witness His kindness, see His miracles, and thank Him for a wonderful, godly husband and our sweet daughter Hannah.

Am I getting older? Of course… Does it bother me? Only momentarily. When I think on the things the Lord has done in my life over the last 27 years, I have nothing but praise to offer. I once read another lady reflecting over her 50 somethingth birthday. She rejoiced at each birthday for the same reason I rejoice today – God’s grace!

Praise the Lord – I’m another year older and another day closer to seeing Christ in His glory!

In Him,
Terra

Wretched. Forgiveness.

Wretched.
The worst of Sinners.
I now understand how Paul could say that and mean it.
I can truly resonate with him.
I cannot point and accuse.
I cannot condemn or mock.
I was there. I was there!

Forgiveness.
Found only in the Risen One.
He can save and forgive anyone.
Right where they are.
Right when He wants.
He did so with me.
He continues to do so each day.

Written 11.3.08

James Got Promoted!!!

By God's grace and to the answer of many, many, MANY prayers, James was promoted today at Meijer!!! He will begin training for his team leader position in the Photo and Electronics department on Monday. This will finally allow James to cut back on some of his hours at one of his other jobs. I'm sure he will very much enjoy getting sleep again! I know I'll enjoy seeing my husband again!

Praise God for great love and continuing to give us patience during this difficult time. Thank you ALL for your prayers and support! Please continue to pray for us as we strive to make wise financial decisions and be good stewards of what God has given us.

With love and thanks,
Terra

Who Wants to be First? I do! I do!

Last Friday I made a trip to Wal-Mart to return some curtains that were not the right size. I was pointed to the Customer Service desk and I was on my way to what I thought would be a five minute transaction. When I reached the desk, I realized it was going to take a bit longer than I had anticipated. I was about 5th or 6th in line. Okay. No big deal. I’m not in a hurry today anyway.

A few moments later, a guy walked up and got in line behind me. He joined the line with a “humph” and a big sigh. The line did not move. A moment later, another guy got in line behind the other. Immediately conversation picked up. It was hard not to “eavesdrop” when they were purposely being loud enough to be heard.

“This line is always like this.”
“They always put the slowest people behind the counter.”
“You’d think they’d hire some more people.”
“Why are they taking so long?”

These comments are not verbatim but you get the point. Now here’s a question. What if one of these two guys was at the front of the line? What if he was the one taking so long to be assisted? Would he be upset about the long line? Not at all. Would it bother him that other people were having to wait on him? I don’t think so, at least not judging by his comments.

The Bible frequently mentions comments about those who want to be first. It also says that these will be last and the last will be first (see Matt. 19:30, 20:16, Mk 10:31, Lk 13:30). Why is it that we always want to be first? I think it is a matter of pride. Deep down (if not out rightly), we honestly think the world revolves around us. Though I was patient in this particular instance, it was easy for me to be. As I said earlier, I was not in a hurry. Hannah was content in her stroller. Not to mention, God graced me with patience that day. My biggest struggle with patience is when I’m driving. I get furious when people cut me off, fly past me like I’m going 50 (when I’m not), ride my bumper, fail to use their turn signals, speed through red lights, etc. I could excuse my behavior by saying, “I just want to be safe and these people are endangering that safety.” While that may be partially true, the bigger problem is my heart. I want people to drive my way and not put me at a risk or think they are better than I am. Wow.

What about you? Where do you struggle with impatience and pride? Is it in lines where you want to be in front? Is it with your children who wanted to draw you a masterpiece on your living room wall? Is it with your spouse who does not understand that you been dealing with a screaming child all day? Is it with the slow waitress who may be having to deal with a difficult table and thereby not focusing on yours?

The next time you catch yourself being impatient, I challenge you to stop and evaluate the cause. Don’t evaluate the who or what is “making” you that way but the why are you reacting in such a way. I think you may be surprised at how often we get in the way of ourselves.

Grace to you,
Terra

East to West

I sit awake tonight, wondering why I can’t sleep. It’s past 11 and I have a 7 week old baby – I should be tired, right? Why am I not? As I listened to a new song by Casting Crowns, I think I know why. Here are the lyrics:

       East to West
       By Casting Crowns

       Here I am Lord and I’m drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness
       The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest
       I don’t want to end up where You found me
       And it echoes in my mind
       Keeps me awake tonight
       I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
       And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
       But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
       From You leaving me this way

       Chorus:
       Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
       ‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
       Rising up in me again
       In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
       ‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
       From one scarred hand to the other

       I start the day, the war begins
       Endless reminding of my sin
       And time and time again
       Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
       Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
       from You leaving me this way

       I know You’ve washed me white
       Turn my darkness into life
       I need Your peace to get me through
       To get me through this night
       I can’t live by what I feel
       About the truth Your word reveals
       I’m not holding on to You
       But You’re holding on to me
       You’re holding on to me

Tonight some of the sins of my past crept into my mind. I’m not sure what brought the memories to me. Well, actually – I am sure – it was Satan. He always tries to remind us of how unworthy we are by resurfacing the sins of our pasts. Tonight, I let him get to me. My problem is that I’m trying to fight the memories on my own. It won’t work that way. Apart from Christ, I’m exactly the person Satan makes me out to be. However, I “have been crucified with Christ. It is not longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me.” “By grace [I] have been saved by faith, not a result of works so that [I] may not boast.” Jesus Christ has washed me white as snow. This song is so perfect for this night. Each word rings truer then I could have penned. I want to know how far the east is from the west because that’s how much Christ loves me. As the song says, the length is “one scarred hand to another.” Jesus Christ died for each and every one of the sins of my past, present and future. I must rest in Him and Him alone this evening. Praise God for His mercy and grace!

I pray this post encourages others who may be struggling in the same way.

Take care,
Terra