Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Week 21: A Developing Fear

Well, there hasn't been a lot of exciting things to follow up on in week 21 regarding pregnancy really. Whatever is going on with my heart is a little annoying. My cardiologist called last week to let me know that my ECHO results were normal. That's good. And yet, it's frustrating to know 'everything's alright' but 'everything's not alright' and there is still no answer. He told me to continue wearing the heart monitor until my next visit (Oct. 18) and we'll go from there. The days continue to be very off and on. Some days, I am in pain and have shortness of breath all day... other days, I feel completely normal. I will admit that I'm starting to develop a small fear regarding this whole mess. I know he's said that if it is pregnancy related (and due to the excess physical demands on my body), I wonder what labor and delivery will look like. The issues typically get worse when I do over-exert myself physically (though they can really get worse even if I'm sitting around doing nothing). So my fear is that when I go into labor, the physical and emotional demands on my body may cause a real problem. This is all speculation but a fear I'm developing none-the-less. I'm certainly going to clarify with the doctor when I go back and see what he thinks. Pray for that I'm not anxious over something that may never happen in the first place.

In the meantime, Sophia is definitely getting more noticeably active. I LOVE feeling her move around and it makes me smile each time. I'm sure it will begin to get a bit frustrating once she tries to keep me awake at night. But for now...

Hannah continues to be both excited and protective of her. My little guy, Benjamin, likes to wrestle and crawl around on top of everyone if they'll let him. If he gets on top of, or too rowdy with my stomach, Hannah is quick to remind him to be careful for baby Sophia. She's excited about playing dress up "when they get older" and sharing her room with her sister. I look forward to see the sisters interact as I had a sister and can't imagine not.

Hannah and Benjamin have both been very challenging lately. Hannah (who's about 3 1/2) has really started having a smart mouth and Benjamin (17mo) has entered tantrum stage. It seems that both have increased at once so we're really praying and seeking hard how to respond and discipline them both in their issues. We don't want to just change their behavior, we want to reach and change their hearts. By God's grace, this too shall pass.

Until next time...

Take Care,

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